The adventure of motherhood begins the second the stick has two pink lines (or has a positive sign or whatever the heck brand you buy...) but you don't get what it really means until the baby is here. The first 9 (technically 10) months I spent worrying about Ella. I read books, read way too many opinions online and had things planned out. My water would break after working all the way to my due date and labor would be fantastic. Then I would stay in the hospital for 2 days and skip out to the car with my sweet bundle of joy to an organized and clean house to begin this next amazing journey with Jason.
The only thing that worked out in this plan is that I'm on this amazing journey with Jason and that our daughter brings so much joy. Aside from that, once again, God showed me that we can plan all we want, but ultimately He is in control and it is just better to submit to that off the bat. Obviously, I had not.
As stated in previous blogs, I was put on semi-bedrest in the middle of May. (not in my plan) I wanted our sweet baby so much, that it was fine. I would do what I had to do. I would stop working and I was going to lay on my left side as much as possible.
I commented on this situation in the blog "worrier." So I don't need to go back there. Fast forward a few months. I had made it past 35 weeks, which was what the doctor wanted. Let's go right to July 17. I had a doctor's appointment in the morning. My mom came with me (I stopped going by myself when I had to frantically find someone to drive me to the hospital one of the six times I went to get monitored). They decided to do the ultrasound first. After laying there for 15 minutes I knew something was up. The tech told me she had passed 2 of the 3 parts of the ultrasound but we needed to wait 15 more minutes and if she didn't move or her if she did and her heart rate didn't go up the doctor would probably send me to the hospital for monitoring. She was breathing and her heart was beating, but she was still considered in "slight" distress. 15 minutes went by and she didn't move so it was time to talk to the doctor. After 10 minutes the doctor turned the corner and said "Ready to have a baby?" Um...I thought I was but not so sure anymore, plus, this isn't what I planned. I still have 25 questions to ask and a cervix to get dialated! But alas, I was going to be induced! It is funny how badly I wanted Ella to be here, until they told me it was time, then I thought "hm...maybe there is something else I could have done to get ready?"
My mom and I drove to the hospital in the midst of texting and calling (JASON, WE ARE HAVING A BABY TODAY!!). When I got there, they put me in a room and hooked me up to the monitor, checked me, no dialation and said we will probably do cervadil, that has to stay in 12 hours and then pitocin to get labor started. BOO. This is not what I planned. Suddenly, Ella's heart rate spiked. It was staying between 190-200 for about 15 minutes. I had to then put on an oxygen mask and lay on my left side. Her heart rate went back down and the nurse let me know that before we did anything Dr. was going to watch the monitors until her office closed and then come talk to me about our options. This was about 2 PM (we had gotten there about 1 PM). 4ish rolls around. She has been moving and her heart rate went down, but now it wouldn't go up when she moved and this was also a problem.
Doctor showed up, explained what we would need to do for me to go into labor (and explained that she wouldn't be there for at least 24 hours) or I could have a c-section. First of all, NONE of this was in "my perfect plan." Second of all, why was I paying the doctor if it was my choice (now that I am rational I understand why, technically, the baby wasn't in distress and it wasn't an emergency so she couldn't make me have a c-section). I cried. Got some advice from family and then Jason and I prayed together and talked it through. Ultimately, we decided to have the c-section. We called our doctor back into the room to let her know our decision and ask her opinion. She thought that I would end up with a c-section after terrible labor anyway because she didn't think Ella would tolerate labor. This conversation happened around 4:30 PM
From the word "Go" everything went so fast. I had amazing nurses and awesome doctors. God overwhelmed me with so much peace the entire time. I didn't feel anything (not even the tugging they said I would feel). Jason was amazing and Ella was born at 5:58 PM on July 17, 2012. She was 8 lbs. 1 oz. and screamed like crazy (Jason kept saying, "That's the best sound I ever heard")
Recovering from a c-section is difficult. I am so grateful for our nurses, family and friends. God is so good. Jason helped so much in the hospital and my recovery was not nearly as bad as other people.
Nothing about Ella's birth day was how I expected it would be. To be honest, I thought it was going to go terribly wrong and something was going to be wrong with one or both of us. God decided He had a different plan and oh am I thankful He is in control and not me. I will write more about the adjustments of motherhood as time goes on. For now, remember that no matter how things are going or what we expect, God's plans and purposes are far better than our own!
First Family Picture
Mother and Daughter
Daddy loves his girl
Ella Jan
