Who is in control?

After I gave birth to Ella, I suffered with post-partum depression. It was pretty bad for about a month. During this time I became obsessed with the idea that I was going to die. Everything feeling I got I thought meant my life was about to end. I am so thankful for all the prayer and support our family received through that time. Three different people said almost the exact same thing to me while I was dealing with these emotions and fear. They said, "Now is the time to believe what you have always said you believe." That stuck with me, especially because three completely unrelated people made this statement to me. I have claimed for many years to be a Christ-follower. I have quoted verses, preached about trusting God and said I was a Christian. All of these statements were true, but now I was faced with overwhelming emotion that I was allowing to control me. It was time for me to believe and live out what I've always said and preached. With God's help and guidance, I was able to do this. Sometimes it is still a struggle, but turning to Him is the answer.

'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

Now is the time to do what we say we do. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight."

Proverbs 3:5-6

I share this now because of the reaction Christians have had to the election. I think it is ok to be frustrated and angry (a healthy anger). But now is the time for us to believe what we have always said we believe. God is in control. He will protect us. He is in the business of doing miracles. Let's band together as believers. Let's pray for our President and our country. Let's remember who is on the throne. And let us remember who put Obama into office. 

"He changes times and seasons;

    he deposes kings and raises up others.
He gives wisdom to the wise
    and knowledge to the discerning."

Daniel 2:21 

Praying that Obama and the other leaders learn to serve with this knowledge and discernment. 

Women's Rights

My mind has been going crazy for the last 24 hours. Ever since I voted yesterday, I've had a sick feeling in my stomach. God delivered me from intense anger two years ago, but there is one thing that can bring that anger back up in my stomach and that is politics. I can handle most ignorant comments from either side. I have swallowed my tongue quite a few times, but there is one issue that I will address and that is abortion, disguised as "women's rights." People often say that if we take away abortion or overturn Roe V. Wade we will be taking away a woman's right to choose. People forget about the tiny little women who have no voice. On December 1, 2011, my life changed forever, and for the better, by finding out I would give birth to one of these little women. Did I know at the time that Ella would be a woman? No. Do I know now what kind of grown woman she will be? No. But God knew and He knows the answer to both of those questions.

"You have searched me, Lord,

    and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you."

Psalm 139:1-18

When we allow abortion to continue, we take away the rights of the unborn, both male and female. Girls, teens and women alive and well want the right to choose whether they kill another human being that is growing inside of them and is a part of them. We often forget that most of those women (and I say MOST) had a choice before they got pregnant. Some chose to have sex before they were married, some chose to have sex without birth control, some chose to have sex knowing the risks it would cause them. What about those choices? People do not want to be held responsible for their decisions, they want an easy way out. That is where a lot of the problems in our country stem from, but most of those other problems do not involve the life of a helpless human. 

Now I know all of the arguments for abortion. Some are hard to refute. What about rape, incest or life of the mother. I do not have a pleasant, tie it up with a bow response to that. My heart breaks for those women. I pray for restoration and healing for them. But they survived an event I cannot even imagine. But their baby, whether they wanted that baby or not, will probably not survive another tragic event, the end of their life in their mother's womb.

The next argument does not break my heart, it starts a burning anger in the pit of my stomach. The baby is not really a human, it is an embryo. When I went in for my ultrasound at 5 weeks pregnant, there was a heartbeat. There was a tiny little peanut on the screen with a beating heart. When I went in for my ultrasound at 18 weeks, sweet little peanut became Ella Jan (though that was decided long before 18 weeks). No person now or will ever convince me that life does not begin at conception. It does. People can try to make themselves feel better about innocent human life being taken, but it will not change the fact that there is a beating heart.

Yesterday I went to bed crying because I voted for someone who was pro-choice. A day that I knew would come. It broke my heart. In evaluating discussions I had with many people over the past few weeks, I realized that a lot of votes are based on selfishness. This made me evaluate my voting. If Barack Obama was going to overturn Roe V. Wade would I have voted for him? I guess I cannot say for sure, but my answer at this moment is yes. I now and will most likely will forever vote for the most pro-life candidate. I am determined to give a voice to those who do not have one.

I know that this post may offend some. I won't apologize for that. The truth offends.