One of those days...or two or three

Have you ever had one of those days? "Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna go eat worms." I've been having one of those days. Well, a few recently. The other night I broke down and just started listing all those "woe is me" things. Once again, reverting back to the age of 12. Which is a great age, if you aren't 29! In my head, nothing was going right. No one liked me, we live with my parents, I'm not motivated anymore. Blah blah blah.

Then church happened yesterday. A mission team from our church went to Togo, Africa (mentorleaders.org) this summer and brought back stories of miracles and faith. They shared and God's plan was carried out. Not only on their trip, but in the sanctuary yesterday. The Holy Spirit did a work in that room. He is doing a work in our church. I am so thankful to have been a part of it.

I was humbled yesterday. Humbled that I complain about stupid things when there are children in Togo who don't have food more than once or twice a week. Humbled that God would allow me to participate in such an amazing service yesterday. Humbled by the Creator.

So why on earth am I having another "woe is me" sort of day? I have been trying to put into words how the Holy Spirit moved, but at the same time feeling depressed. My husband has a theory...and I tend to agree with him. God did something yesterday, and is continuing to do something and the devil doesn't like it. I need to cling to what God's word says.


⁶ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. ⁷ Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
 ⁸ Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ⁹ Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
 ¹⁰ And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. ¹¹ To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

1 Peter 5:6-11

I am still a 12-year-old

Lately I've been feeling like I am still 12-years-old and I need to pray my way out of it. It is been obvious to me in two ways and when I say this, I don't mean it in a "happy go lucky no care in the world" sort of way. I mean "I want, what I want, when I want it! Thanks!" sort of way and in a "I'm insecure and can't let go of stupid things" sort of way.

I have not posted the dramas of the house search, closing, craziness...but it is one situation that is showing my true 12-year-old colors! We started this search last winter and have been working on getting this one particular house since April. We first were told we were going to close the last week in June. It is now the second week in September and we still have not closed. I want to blame the loan officer, the selling agent and anyone else that has been involved, but I actually think it is my fault.

It is my fault because God is trying to teach me a lesson and I am not getting it fast enough! I am a control freak and He wants me to release control and realize His time is perfection, not mine. My timing sucks. So, I am pretty much just writing this blog to get this stuff out and hopefully release control.

That's all for now. I'll share my other 12-year-old self soon.