To Facebook or not to facebook?

A lot of things have been put into question lately. Why do I use facebook? Is that what I am using it for? Why do I have this blog? Is that what I am using it for?  Why do I share so much of my life? Why am I an open book?

God has brought these to the forefront of my mind numerous times over the past week so I am going to put my thoughts onto paper (computer screen).

Why do I use facebook? The actual reason I use facebook is to stay in contact with people. I have family and friends who no longer live near by and it is a quick and easy way to stay in contact with them. I like to hear about their lives and in turn I guess I tell them (and 600 other people, which I often forget) about mine. Am I actually using Facebook for this reason? Yes and no. Because I am an open book (I will address the above question later), I often use Facebook as a diary of sorts. I've learned that is a bad idea. I know what I mean before I write it, but the 600+ "friends" I have do not. Every single person that reads what I write (or what you write) has a slightly different interpretation than you do. Man can this mess things up. Lesson for Molly: Use Facebook for what you really want, keeping in touch with people. Keep your "every second" thoughts to yourself. 

Why do I write this blog? I have this blog because I feel like God wants me to write about the things I have learned and continue to learn. Is this why I am using the blog? I think so. Yeah, sometimes I do use it as a diary and it may seem selfish or be misinterpreted. When I break it down though, I really think and process before I write and not just put exactly the first thing that pops into my head. Otherwise, it would look a lot like my Facebook status changes. Lesson: Keep writing and processing, well actually, processing, then writing.

Finally, I will answer the last two questions together...why am I an open book and why do I share so much of my life? I am this way, honestly, because I believe that is how God made me. Unfortunately, the positive qualities God gives us become negative. Lesson: Be open, but still, process first.

Moral of this blog for Molly today: Process things. Just because God made you open does not mean you should have no filter at all. In the flesh, I am nothing, in Him I am something. He must become greater and I must become less. 

Renovations

So I have been MIA for a while because WE GOT A HOUSE! 

We are SUPER excited and SUPER blessed! With this amazing new home comes A LOT of renovations! People keep saying, "even after the work is done, the work is never done." This has made me start thinking about our lives. When Christ bought us, we were a MESS! He had to go in there and do a ton of renovations. He had to tear down walls, ceilings, spackle and clean us up! And like a house, the work is never done. Just when I think I've been perfected, God shows me another hole in my heart that needs to be filled with Him. He has been teaching me so much about our lives through this house and I praise the Blessing-Giver!

One of those days...or two or three

Have you ever had one of those days? "Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna go eat worms." I've been having one of those days. Well, a few recently. The other night I broke down and just started listing all those "woe is me" things. Once again, reverting back to the age of 12. Which is a great age, if you aren't 29! In my head, nothing was going right. No one liked me, we live with my parents, I'm not motivated anymore. Blah blah blah.

Then church happened yesterday. A mission team from our church went to Togo, Africa (mentorleaders.org) this summer and brought back stories of miracles and faith. They shared and God's plan was carried out. Not only on their trip, but in the sanctuary yesterday. The Holy Spirit did a work in that room. He is doing a work in our church. I am so thankful to have been a part of it.

I was humbled yesterday. Humbled that I complain about stupid things when there are children in Togo who don't have food more than once or twice a week. Humbled that God would allow me to participate in such an amazing service yesterday. Humbled by the Creator.

So why on earth am I having another "woe is me" sort of day? I have been trying to put into words how the Holy Spirit moved, but at the same time feeling depressed. My husband has a theory...and I tend to agree with him. God did something yesterday, and is continuing to do something and the devil doesn't like it. I need to cling to what God's word says.


⁶ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. ⁷ Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
 ⁸ Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ⁹ Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
 ¹⁰ And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. ¹¹ To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

1 Peter 5:6-11

I am still a 12-year-old

Lately I've been feeling like I am still 12-years-old and I need to pray my way out of it. It is been obvious to me in two ways and when I say this, I don't mean it in a "happy go lucky no care in the world" sort of way. I mean "I want, what I want, when I want it! Thanks!" sort of way and in a "I'm insecure and can't let go of stupid things" sort of way.

I have not posted the dramas of the house search, closing, craziness...but it is one situation that is showing my true 12-year-old colors! We started this search last winter and have been working on getting this one particular house since April. We first were told we were going to close the last week in June. It is now the second week in September and we still have not closed. I want to blame the loan officer, the selling agent and anyone else that has been involved, but I actually think it is my fault.

It is my fault because God is trying to teach me a lesson and I am not getting it fast enough! I am a control freak and He wants me to release control and realize His time is perfection, not mine. My timing sucks. So, I am pretty much just writing this blog to get this stuff out and hopefully release control.

That's all for now. I'll share my other 12-year-old self soon.

"...work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord..."

Something I've been really contemplating is the idea of loving your job. Should we be able to love our job? Should we quit our job if we don't love it? Do we deserve or have "the right" to love our job? Did my grandfather find fulfillment in his job? Why do people work? I could go on forever. I've also been learning through a very wise friend, that our opinions shouldn't be based on our thoughts, but on God's word. That's the truth. First, I will tell you my opinion based on my opinion. My grandfather did not love and feel passionate about working for Armco steel. He had love and passion for his family, listening to good music, fishing  and drinking a nice cold brewskie. He did not find fulfillment in his job, he found it in what he did outside his job. I would love to say that my grandfather spent his entire life finding his fulfillment in Christ, but that did not happen until his last days, but I do think that he had most of it right. He worked to provide for his family and enjoy life outside of work. That's not to say he HATED his job, but it was a j-o-b and they called it that for a reason. I imagine he was pretty positive at work too, not mumbling and complaining with every step, which is really amazing since he didn't have salvation at the time. Makes me ashamed of myself, for calling myself a Christian, yet moaning on an almost a day to day basis about my job. I can only imagine what my grandfather would have been like if he had met Jesus young, thank God I did. So what did I learn from my grandfather's example? That we work to meet our financial obligations and hopefully find a job that allows us to enjoy life outside of work...

My mind has changed a lot about this subject over the past few years, life situations and advice from others has given me the opportunity to really think about what I believe in this area. I read the book, "Just Do Something," by Kevin DeYoung.

It gave me a perspective I had never had before!!

Now, thoughts from the most important place (and my interpretation for food for thought!) 

Do we stop working if we are unhappy? 

 "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." 1 Timothy 5:8

I believe this means that you work, even if you hate your job, if not working means you cannot provide for your family.

(And don't get me wrong, I think if you are miserable at work, you should find a job that doesn't make you miserable, but I think you should do this while still meeting your responsibilities)

Do we deserve to have a job we love? (do we deserve anything at all?)

 "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life." Romans 6:23

People think they have the "right" to love their job, that they "deserve" to do, for a career, what they feel passionate about. I believe that scripture says we deserve nothing but death and hell, and ANYTHING outside of that is a blessing, even if its a job we hate. 

Should we find our fulfillment in our job? 


I think God loves us, but that doesn't mean our job will give us fulfillment and joy. I definitely think some people are blessed by finding fulfillment in their job, but only living through Christ can we find true joy and fulfillment.


"Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1 : 8 & 9 

If we are focused on that, then we won't be miserable. Now of course, I AM TOTALLY PREACHING TO MYSELF! I'm only now becoming a more positive, optimistic person trying to find contentment in loving Jesus and feeling blessed by any additional good things in my life, so please don't take me the wrong way! I think the Bible is clear that we will have a difficult road as Christians.

 "I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that address you as sons: 'My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son.' Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed." Hebrews 12: 1-12

Why do we work? 

God commands us to work in His word.

"In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers and sisters, to keep away from every believer who is idle and disruptive and does not live according to the teaching you received from us. For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone’s food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to offer ourselves as a model for you to imitate. For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: 'The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.' We hear that some among you are idle and disruptive. They are not busy; they are busybodies. Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the food they eat. And as for you, brothers and sisters, never tire of doing what is good. Take special note of anyone who does not obey our instruction in this letter. Do not associate with them, in order that they may feel ashamed. ¹⁵ Yet do not regard them as an enemy, but warn them as you would a fellow believer. 2 Thessalonians 3: 6-15

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism."

Colossians 3 : 23-24

I also believe that God does bless His people. He prospers us and promises us many things.

 "' For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to You. You will seek me and find me when You seek me with all Your heart. I will be found by You,' declares the Lord, 'and will bring you back from captivity..."  Jeremiah 29 : 11 - 14a




I think this sums up a few points. We need to have the correct motives and the Lord will take care of the rest. 



"To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the proper answer of the tongue. All a person's ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord. Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans. The Lord works out everything to its proper end, even the wicked for a day of disaster." Proverbs 16:1-4

I need to remember all the ways that He blesses me and that some of these blesses I may not look at as such and all are things I do not deserve and did not earn! 

 "From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another." John 1:16

I, by no means, think that everyone should take a stinky job that they can't stand and "suck it up." I believe people can love and feel passionate about their job and be totally blessed (I sure hope my pastor feels passionate about his job...pretty sure he does. You will agree if you have ever heard him preach...) I am just trying to point out that the way society, as a whole, approaches work, may be a little off base. I also think that absolutely loving your job and feeling passionate about it is the exception, not the rule. 

  I am still trying to work all of this out in my head. If you would have asked me six years ago about this subject, none of the above would have been written. It is fun to think about opinions and how they change and develop overtime. That is why I welcome other people's opinions and blog but my own, not to offend but put things in black and white to process better and to hear what you think as well!

The two important conclusions I have come to in all of this, when coming up with an opinion, base it on the word of God and no matter what you do, "work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord..." 

Give credit where credit is due

I often hear people say, "don't give satan too much credit," or something along those lines. For most everything, if not everything, credit is due to either satan or God. One or the other. You either love satan or God, serve satan or God, obey satan or God. People don't like to look at life this way. People don't want to recognize the fact that you have to serve someone, and if you aren't serving God, then you are serving the devil. Every time I make a step that is away from God, it is towards the devil. That's freaking scary. I don't EVER want to be walking towards the devil. I don't ever want to be obeying the devil.

My thoughts on "giving the devil credit..." We are using the wrong word. We should not give the devil credit because that implies he is doing something good. We should acknowledge the stronghold, his work in our lives. When we acknowledge that he is working, we acknowledge our need for Jesus to overcome. We need to ask God to "deliver us from evil." My amazing niece told me she listens to the song Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri when satan is lying to her. Perri did not write this song about satan, she wrote it about a lost love, but the lyrics apply. Even if satan hasn't literally "kissed" you, he has used his kiss of evil to work in your life.

There is an awesome hope though! He has no real power. He has no real stronghold. We are delivered from this evil one when we ask for deliverance.

"⁶ Listen to my cry,

for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
for they are too strong for me.
⁷ Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name." Psalm 142:6-7a

Thoughts from a U2 concert

My husband bought us tickets to see U2 for my Christmas present this year. U2 is my all time favorite band so I was super excited. I have always enjoyed their music and have a real appreciation for the Edge. I learned three things at the concert, unexpected lessons.

The first I actually already knew, but was reiterated. I have an amazing husband. Of course,  I knew he was awesome, but watching him at the concert made me realize this fact again and realize that he is selfless. You see, he doesn't like U2. He doesn't hate them, but he doesn't like them either. If it were up to Jason, he would not go to any huge concert, especially one being held at Heinz field performed by U2. Not only did he attend the concert, he purchased the tickets as a surprise for me for Christmas. Then, instead of asking me to take someone else, he went and endured, what I think was maybe just a semi-enjoyable concert experience for him. So #1: My husband is awesome.

The second thing I learned is that I actually don't like big huge concerts either. Now don't get me wrong, I know for us this was a once in a lifetime experience and one I am blessed to have had. I am 100% grateful that we were able to go and I was able to enjoy live music by my favorite band! I don't like big huge concerts because it reminds me a lot of idol worship. Now I'm not going to say someone is wrong for attending any concert. I understand why people go and I've enjoyed a few myself, but being at last night's concert made me realize that I do not really want to spend that kind of time or money on a concert that isn't God centered. It was great listening to music and at one point we were singing "rejoice," but there was not much of an explanation of who we were rejoicing. My favorite concert of all time was Chris Tomlin, because the concert was not about Chris Tomlin, it was about the God who saves us! For me personally, I want to go to worship "concerts." Actually, I want church to be like last night. That is really the second thing I learned while watching people worship U2 (Bono in particular). Not everyone was worshiping them, of course. I know quite a few people who went who just like live music, but being there made me feel sad for those who almost put their hope in things of this world. It also made me sad that we as Christians do not respond that way to Jesus. I want people standing up yelling for God, rejoicing Him and maybe even wearing a t-shirt with Jesus on it, instead of Bono. Am I contradicting myself because I don't worship this way on Sundays? Not necessarily. I guess I would love to be able to take that passion for a band and put it towards my faith.

The third thing I learned is that the Bible is true. I commented on Philippians 4:4-9 in a previous blog. I've been working on doing this on a daily basis, and yesterday, it worked! I woke up feeling anxious about the concert. Oh great, here we go again. I can't even enjoy a fun outing because of this darn anxiety. I had sent this passage to a friend via text a few weeks ago when she was struggling with travel anxiety. at the time, I locked it because I knew I would probably need it one day. While at work, I looked at my text and God spoke to me clearly through His work.


^"4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 ⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:4-9

Through God's word and power, the anxiety went away and I actually got excited for the concert. God overwhelmed me with His peace so that I could go, enjoy time with my husband and learn three things. 

And...if I had not gone on vacation, I would have missed this.....

Praise God He got me to Kiawah and because He did...I have the following memories!

Will and Al

Relaxing Beach Afternoon

All time pitcher

God's amazing creation

Evan helping Al

Erica

Bimmie kicking

Auntie 

Pop (Evan helping again) 

Emily caught a shark

Jason caught a stingray 

The Sisters

Nieces and Nephews

Molly and Jason by the Angel Oak

Do Not Worry About Tomorrow....

Anxiety rears its ugly head again. We were leaving on vacation a couple of weeks ago and there it was again. Racing mind, racing heart, irrational thoughts...anxiety. How on earth is vacation making me anxious?? There is so much behind this I could go on for pages and pages, but I won't bore with details. It did. That's the simplest way to say it. Taking a trip was making me nervous. For a week before hand I could barely function. I cried out to God day after day and I wasn't getting the response I wanted or thought I needed. Why wasn't He answering? Why does a loving God make us suffer? I was seeking wise counsel during this week and asking prayer from many prayer warriors I know.

The day we were leaving for vacation was the worst. I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital the attack was so harsh. I finally called one of the amazing women God has placed and my life and asked for prayer. She was awesome. She asked if I considered praying about not going instead of praying about the anxiety to stop. Not go? That's crazy! She asked me if I felt God telling me one way or the other and I shared with her about those dumb lies again. I told her that for so long I believed the lies satan told me that I was not sure when God was talking and when satan was. She told me that God talks to her in a still small voice. That means the enemy is chaotic!


¹⁰ He says, “Be still, and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10


So this mighty prayer warrior prayed for me and while she was praying God spoke! He said, "Go on the trip, I will take care of the rest." All the chaos of anxiety and fear had overtaken me and I couldn't hear God until I was still and listened. 


That entire week I had been screaming Bible verses worrying about something that was happening a few days later. I was not listening to God in that day, thinking about what He had for me in the moment. Once I realized this, I hung up the phone, found my husband, we prayed and I decided to go (while I was freaking out he packed the car so we could leave as soon as I was ready). He said, "Ok, so we'll leave and if you need to stop, even after one hour, we will!" I told him, "Nope, its over. I think for good." Praise God, I was good the rest of the trip. Something I've really been praying for since then is that I can live for the day that I am in. I spend 90% of the time thinking about what I have to do next. The next hour, the next day, week, sometimes even month. I miss out on what God has for me in that day because I'm worried that I might have to poop on my next trip or if I will wake up tomorrow without anxiety. 


The Bible commands that I don't do this. 


    ²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[a]?   ²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:25-34

Now, some people take this as a free pass to worry today. I mean, at least I'm not worrying about tomorrow right? WRONG! Obviously, we are going to think about things, problem solve, ask for direction and pray, but crazy amounts of worrying, SIN!

“According to the Bible, there is nothing wrong with realistically acknowledging and trying to deal with the identifiable problems of life. To ignore danger is fooling and wrong. But it is also wrong, as well as unhealthy, to be immobilized by excessive worry. Such worry must be committed to prayer to God, who can release us from paralyzing fear or anxiety, and free us to deal realistically with the needs and welfare both of others and of ourselves.” (Dr. Gary R. Collins, Christian Counseling, p. 66.)


The Bible tells us what to do when we are feeling anxious. It doesn't tell us to sit and stew about it until our hearts start racing and skin starts crawling. 


"⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 ⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:4-9

Part of the anxiety is the fact that we are trying to control (ok, I can't speak for every single person on the planet with anxiety, but through talks with others and my own experience, I think this is the case for many who deal with it). We are trying to predict what's going to happen, what will be next, whether we will have to go to the bathroom on our 12 hour drive (if you are curious about the remarks about the bathroom, let me know, I'll fill you in...) etc. Now it sounds funny to those of you who have panic attacks because when a panic attack overtakes you, it feel like the opposite. That you have NO CONTROL AT ALL! Maybe this is God's intention. He wants us to completely lose control and GIVE IT TO HIM! I'm not saying that because you pray in the midst of a panic attack it will immediately stop...(though sometimes it will). Maybe the key isn't what we do in the middle of the attack, but before. Maybe the key is to rejoice in the Lord always. Maybe it is to give Him the control before we lose it to panic. Maybe the key is to not worry about tomorrow or today, but give every single second to Christ! 

Unworthy

Do you ever feel unworthy? Do you ever feel like you don't deserve anything? Or do you feel like you deserve all that you want and more? Truth is, we don't deserve anything. Actually, that's not true. We deserve death. I am tired of people living their lives with this idea that they deserve things. Even the foundation of our country is that we deserve (or we have the right to) life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I disagree. The Bible does also. The Bible talks about how the wages of sin is death, we are sinful, we lack any sort of good.
(Romans 6:20-23, Ephesians 2:3, )

If you stop reading this post now, you may walk away with negative feelings. You might be angry at me, disagree with me or feel depressed. But there is hope. There is someone who can make us worthy and give us life. He still does not make us deserve anything, but He substituted Himself for us so that we may have life. These verses do not stand alone to make us feel horrible about ourselves and worthless. These verses continue on to show us God's grace and mercy. To show us what Christ has done for us so that we do not remain worthless and unrighteous.

²⁰ When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. ²¹ What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death!²² But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. ²³ For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in^[a] Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:20-23


³ All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh^[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. ⁴ But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, ⁵ made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. ⁶ And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, ⁷ in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:3-7


³ At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. ⁴ But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, ⁵ he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, ⁶ whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, ⁷ so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. Titus 3:3-7


Take heart. Through Christ, we are made righteous and been set free. 

Trust God....um...easy to say, hard to live!

Whenever you are in a time of "waiting," people always say, "Trust God," or "God is in control." That is 100% true. God is in complete control of your life. He knows what is going to happen and has great plans, but sometimes, it is not easy to live that way. It seems as if Jason and I have been waiting since we got married. Recently, we have decided to live instead of wait. Currently, we are waiting for two things. Big things. But instead of stewing about it, today I choose to live. When a bit of worry enters my mind, today I am going to pray about it. That doesn't mean tomorrow I won't worry or stew for a bit, but today I am praying. Tomorrow, if I do stew, I'm not going to beat myself up about it. Hopefully God will just bring His word to my mind.

"¹³ I remain confident of this: 
   I will see the goodness of the LORD 
   in the land of the living. 
¹⁴ Wait for the LORD; 
   be strong and take heart 
   and wait for the LORD.

Psalm 27:13&14

Do you ever want to give up?

Do you ever feel tired of fighting the battle? Do you ever feel weary and just want to sit back and let life happen? The battle may look different for you than it looks for me. Some of us fight against drugs, alcohol, laziness, or food. Others have a battlefield of the mind, a battle to keep their anger in check or a struggle to stop gossiping about those around them. For me there are three main things that I battle, lies (not telling them, but believing them) anger and food addiction. Sometimes these battles are so intense, that it causes the good things in our lives to become tasks. We no longer find joy in anything, even the things that God has placed there.

One of the battles for me is the battlefield of the mind. Believing lies to be true. The lies I believe are lies from satan. He has been fueling my mind with lies for so long that there was a point where I believed these lies to be 100% true. Almost a year ago, Jason and I went to meet with our pastor and his wife at their house in Cleveland. I had come to a point where I was tired of fighting. I was sick of the anxiety and frustration in my every day life and wasn't sure how to fight anymore. Our pastor wanted us to come over so he could pray for me and we could talk it out. When I walked in, I wanted to turn around and walk out. There was a loan chair sitting in the middle of the living room. I could feel the battle raging inside, do I want to do this or do I just want to give in again? We chatted for a while and then decided to pray. Instead of asking me specifically what was going on, they wanted me to sit down, put on some worship music and be still. Through this time God revealed much about what was going on with me. There was a moment in this night where it truly hit me that lies had become the truth for me. At one point, our pastor's wife looked at me and asked, "Do you believe that the reason you have not gotten pregnant at this time is because you will be a bad mom?" I looked at her and said, "Well duh? Doesn't every woman believe that?" She told me, "No, Molly. That is a lie straight from hell. That is not the truth." For the first time, I realized that most of what I told myself was not true. From that point on, it continues to be a battle, but only through God am I discovering the truth. I told Jason the other day, you sometimes have to speak the truth out loud and "take captive every thought." 

2 Corinthians 10:5 (New International Version)

⁵ We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

There are sometimes weeks at a time when I feel like I start over every day. I fought yesterday, wake-up and hear all those lies again. But something else I discovered that night in the loan chair in the living room, I am not fighting this battle alone. Frankly, I am not fighting the battle at all. Cause if I was, I would lose, I was losing. God, the Almighty is fighting the battle for me. 

2 Chronicles 20:17 (New International Version)

¹⁷ You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.’”

It may seem discouraging sometimes. Why do we continue to fight? Honestly, I don't always have the right answers. Someone else does though...

Galatians 6:8-9 (New International Version)

⁸ Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. ⁹ Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Hebrews 12:1-3 (New International Version)

 ¹ Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

You May Have Just Saved My Baby!!

Last year God did amazing things at the Pregnancy Help Center Walk for life and throughout the year! I wanted to repost this to inspire and show the miracles that God does! Thank you, again, everyone who supported this amazing cause monetarily and/or through prayer! Please continue to do so as God leads! If you keep up with the blog, God has blessed us with a baby through conception (she is still living in me for the next 3 months) We are overwhelmed and humbled by the things God has done and continues to do, as we deserve none of them! Super excited to walk this year on May 5 and can't wait to see what God does (also can't wait to take our little baby girl next year and show her what its all about, and maybe even help save her brother or sister)! Please join us at the walk, even if you only sponsor yourself! http://www.pregnancyhelpcenter.com/

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Today was the Pregnancy Help Center Walk for Life. As some of you know, God has put this ministry on my heart from a very young age. I can't remember exactly how old I was (early teens I think), but I remember being at Calvary Assembly of God and hearing a woman speak about getting pregnant at an "old age" and the doctor telling her to have an abortion. She did not. Her daughter is actually getting married very soon because her mom chose life! After hearing her story, God spoke to my heart about the Pregnancy Help Center and about abortion.

This year I decided to have a goal of raising $1,000 on my own and I was scared. I didn't think I would be able to do it, and I was right. On my own, I never would've raised $1,000, but with God, I raised $2,600. I do not post this to bring myself any recognition, because people gave sacrificially on their own. I post this to show the power of God. When God lays something on our hearts, a passion, all we have to do is listen and He uses us! As of now, the total for all walkers is $46,000, $11,000 more than walk day last year. That means more money will be coming in after today! Hallelujah!

Thank you to everyone who gave generously through time, money and prayer!

So, why did I name this "You May Have Just Saved My Baby!"? Well, God has chosen not to give us any children right now. I believe He will give us children in the future. He has laid it on our hearts to adopt a child and maybe He will bless us with a child we conceive, but I know He will bless us with a child somehow. By giving to the Pregnancy Help Center, you give women the opportunity to choose life and maybe provide a baby for our family one day.  From the bottom of our hearts...thank you. You may have just saved my baby!!

^"35In everything I have pointed out to you [by example] that, by working diligently in this manner, we ought to assist the weak, being mindful of the words of the Lord Jesus, how He Himself said, It is more blessed
to give than to receive." Acts 20:35

Most of the time others say it better!

A lot of times other people say what I'm thinking much better than I can. This has happened twice today. One from the Almighty God Himself and the other from a band. First, I was trying to think of how to express that I am glad justice has been served, but it is still horrible that someone has died, especially without knowing God. I hold true to what the Bible says, "As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live."- Ezekiel 33:11


The second occurred while I was out running. I am so thankful that God has provided this venue for me to share my story with others. SO many people have responded and opened themselves up! I was trying to figure out a way to express how I understood what one person in particular was going through and this song, by DC Talk started playing on my trusty pink iPod. Below are the lyrics and a YouTube video (video is not that great...)


In the Light


I keep trying to find a life
On my own, apart from You
I am the king of excuses
I've got one for every selfish thing I do 

What's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior 

(chorus)
I wanna be in the Light
As You are in the Light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, Lord be my Light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the Light
All I want is to be in the Light 

The disease of self runs through my blood
It's a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control 

Tell me, what's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior 


Honesty becomes me
[There's nothing left to lose]
The secrets that did run me
[In Your presence are defused]
Pride has no position
[And riches have no worth]
The fame that once did cover me
[Has been sentenced to this Earth]
Has been sentenced to this Earth 

Tell me, what's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior 

[There's no other place that I want to be]
[No other place that I can see]
[A place to be that's just right]
[Someday I'm gonna be in the Light]
[You are in the Light]
[That's where I need to be]
[That's right where I need to be]

http://youtu.be/hinMYrcCMHc