"HE MUST BECOME GREATER; I MUST BECOME LESS." JOHN 3:30
Pregnancy has brought new meaning to this verse for me. With pregnancy, you don't have a choice. He has to become EVERYTHING. You can do everything right for 9 months and you could lose your baby. You can do everything wrong for 9 months and the baby could be perfectly healthy. That's not to say that I'm not doing as much "right" as I can to take care of this child, but this experience has given me the COMPLETE reality that I am not in control. I've tried for the last 29 years to be in control and for the past 29 years, I have not been in control. I thought I was (and I've definitely screwed some things up by thinking I was), but I have not been in control at all.
I have discovered this push and pull of feelings. In one way, I love that God is in complete control. I mean, who else would I rather have control over my pregnancy and our baby than the MASTER AND CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE. On the other hand, it is so scary to not be able to do anything. We have prayed and desired this baby for years and I want them to be ok. On one hand, I know tons and tons of babies born and healthy! On the other hand, I have many friends who have lost children through pregnancy and after. So I am learning one lesson. Not that I must become less and He must become more (though this is true...) but frankly, He must become everything and I must remember....
I waited patiently for the LORD;
He turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
He set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the LORD
and put their trust in Him.
He turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
He set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the LORD
and put their trust in Him.
4 Blessed is the one
who trusts in the LORD,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.[b]
5 Many, LORD my God,
are the wonders You have done,
the things You planned for us.
None can compare with You;
were I to speak and tell of Your deeds,
they would be too many to declare.
who trusts in the LORD,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.[b]
5 Many, LORD my God,
are the wonders You have done,
the things You planned for us.
None can compare with You;
were I to speak and tell of Your deeds,
they would be too many to declare.
6 Sacrifice and offering You did not desire—
but my ears You have opened[c]—
burnt offerings and sin offerings[d] You did not require.
7 Then I said, “Here I am, I have come—
it is written about me in the scroll.[e]
8 I desire to do Your will, my God;
Your law is within my heart.”
but my ears You have opened[c]—
burnt offerings and sin offerings[d] You did not require.
7 Then I said, “Here I am, I have come—
it is written about me in the scroll.[e]
8 I desire to do Your will, my God;
Your law is within my heart.”
9 I proclaim Your saving acts in the great assembly;
I do not seal my lips, LORD,
as You know.
10 I do not hide Your righteousness in my heart;
I speak of Your faithfulness and Your saving help.
I do not conceal Your love and Your faithfulness
from the great assembly.
I do not seal my lips, LORD,
as You know.
10 I do not hide Your righteousness in my heart;
I speak of Your faithfulness and Your saving help.
I do not conceal Your love and Your faithfulness
from the great assembly.
11 Do not withhold Your mercy from me, LORD;
may Your love and faithfulness always protect me.
12 For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me.
13 Be pleased to save me, LORD;
come quickly, LORD, to help me.
may Your love and faithfulness always protect me.
12 For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me.
13 Be pleased to save me, LORD;
come quickly, LORD, to help me.
14 May all who want to take my life
be put to shame and confusion;
may all who desire my ruin
be turned back in disgrace.
15 May those who say to me, “Aha! Aha!”
be appalled at their own shame.
16 But may all who seek You
rejoice and be glad in You;
may those who long for Your saving help always say,
“The LORD is great!”
be put to shame and confusion;
may all who desire my ruin
be turned back in disgrace.
15 May those who say to me, “Aha! Aha!”
be appalled at their own shame.
16 But may all who seek You
rejoice and be glad in You;
may those who long for Your saving help always say,
“The LORD is great!”
17 But as for me, I am poor and needy;
may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
you are my God, do not delay.
may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
you are my God, do not delay.
Psalm 40
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